A man once told me that memories are something we create ourselves in our minds. Memories are something we control ourself, something we can alter and recreate. The more times we recreate them, the bigger the chances of alteration. Bad memories can become worse, dependent on when we retrieve them from our mind. If we play a happy memory at a bad time, this can affect the memory.
I once had very good memories from a certain time of my life. Then I buried them. I buried them with memories from the same place, I buried them with hate, regret and shame. I made them into something they were not. And when I tried to recollect them, they reminded me of a bad time in my life. They reminded me of hate, regret and shame, although non of these memories contained any of those feelings.
I stopped revisiting the memories, to avoid these feelings, and somehow they all disappeared, they were deleted. Meaning, that somehow the happiest time of my life was deleted because of happenings unrelated to this time.
I once went back to a happy place in my life, just to realize it was not the same anymore and my memories was destroyed. I have ever since been worried about going back, about chasing good memories in the past. I have put everything behind, thinking that I could never get back a happy time. I was, however, wrong.
You can go back, you can revisit, and you can create even better memories. I went back again, and I realized that these memories I had made into be something bad, was nothing but good. I was able to create even better memories, and to get rid of the bad. And I now believe that this is part of a maturity process, about growing up, about learning. And I am no longer afraid of looking back, because in your past there will be a lot of things you need to go forward, not just the bad, but also the good.